It's COVID Christmas!

Welcome, not-yet-vaccinated reader, as I bring you the latest updates on how preparations for an unusual Christmas are going here in sunny California.

And sunny is just what it hasn't been for the last couple of days. In fact, last night we had what might be described as proper rain - something that you might even call rain in the UK - which went on for maybe half an hour or even more. We're entirely unprepared for this kind of thing these days, and it's quite possible that there's even water down in our local creek. I'm sure we'll still be complaining of drought, though, as even by Californian standards, this year has been really dry.

Anyway, exciting lockdown news! What's rapidly being known as the "Thanksgiving Surge" is now emphatically in evidence, so Governor Gavin Newsom has wagged his proverbial finger and told us Californians to behave ourselves. In fact he's removed what round here is pretty close to an indelible human right - the right to go to a restaurant and eat, either inside or out. Now, indoor dining only really got going here for about 3 weeks in September, but we've had outdoor dining operative since at least June-ish, and it's become something the locals have wholeheartedly embraced. Getting rid of it allows us to pander to that other American passion - the car! Streets that had been closed to allow outdoor dining were open to cars again as soon as outdoor dining was banned. It's a bit of a loss really - Palo Alto's main street was much better without the cars.

Obviously with the lockdown in place there's no chance of going to the barber's, but who needs that when something very, very close to professional hairdressing is available from the comfort of our own porch?

This was COVID buzzcut Mk IV, and this time Helen didn't mutter, "It'll grow back" even once. She looks a bit too eager in the pic though, don't you think? And yes, you do have to pay extra for the gold-plated clippers...

So to Christmas. In the UK, the dear departed Woolworths was the unofficial Temple of Christmas, full of dubious Yuletide-themed objects of all stripes. Here, the mantle is gladly accepted and celebrated by Wal-Mart, a huge store that I would describe as ASDA without the class. Americans love Christmas, and they love decorating things, so put it together and you have a perfect storm. Reader, the storm of hype and excitement is enough to pull in even a jaded post-modernist like yours truly:

This is pretty much the minimum per-home decoration allowed by California state law; I hope the front garden is prepared.

As for inside the house, well, we've chosen to have a tree but didn't really know what to get. Fortunately the National Tree Company were on hand to help us out:

What we have here is a 7.5 foot artificial tree, with something like 800 built-in lights. Helen wouldn't let me buy the tree with the built-in speaker and a repertoire of 7 Xmas songs; even I had to agree that might be a bit grating after a while... until we walked round the neighbourhood and found someone had bought one of those and put it in their front garden! That's it! We should have bought one of those to inflict... sorry, inspire the neighbours with the same 7 Xmas songs played for 4 or 5 hours every night until the 6th of January. Without that they just won't think we're committed to the season!

Also of significant disappointment to me was that for some reason, my Apple TV won't let me view "Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special". Mariah's the self-appointed Queen of Christmas; I'm not sure I can give the season the gravitas it deserves without this to be honest!

Anyway, just a few short days at work and then we're in to what will hopefully be an enjoyable Christmas season with little to do other than to eat and gaze into Mariah Carey's eyes. I for one can't wait!